The Late Show with Obi-Wan
by Michelle Kenobi
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi is tonight's guest on "The Late Show with David Letterman." Silliness abounds, Paul and Alan are featured, Obi-Wan looks sexy, Dave is crazy, plus a special musical guest!


February, 2000 

  
TITLE: The Late Show with Obi-Wan 1/3   
AUTHOR: Michelle Kenobi   
AUTHOR E-MAIL: [  
To=cheshire_cat78@yahoo.com&YY=97549&order=up&sort=date&pos=0">ZincOxideGirl@Yahoo.com][1]   
FEEDBACK: Stick it in a bag and TRANSFUSE it into me, baby! (Since this is my 1st creation, it would be helpful)   
CATEGORY: Humor, I guess!   
KEYWORDS: Obi-Wan, Kenobi, humor, TV, show   
SPOILERS: TPM   
RATING: PG-13 (reference to language; implicit sexual innuendoes)   
ARCHIVE: Yes, at OKEB. Anywhere else is fine, just tell me so I can revel in my popularity.   
DISCLAIMER: George Lucas owns everything. I own nothing. I am nothing. I am not worthy, and yet here I am making a feeble attempt at writing about his world. I am making no money or profit whatsoever. CBS owns the Late Show, I believe. No infringement intended. :-) BTW, way to go, Dave! Back from Heart Surgery and on a roll! This is in no way a representation of the ACTUAL David Letterman or his actions.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This ain't necessarily a story. I haven't finished my first story yet ("Nanny Kenobi", which is probably changing to "Obi Poppins,"which was started MONTHS ago- ask Cheshire cat!) and I fear Work-in-Progess'es, but THIS is just a reckless, fun, ramble in interview format. SUMMARY: Obi-Wan Kenobi is the first celebrity guest tonight on "The Late Show with David Letterman." If you're a fan of the show: we got Paul, Alan, and a SPECIAL musical guest (stay tuned to see who it is), Dave does some of his trademark gags n' shticks. Plus: later tonight, Obi-Wan and Dave go into the audience. THE LATE SHOW WITH OBI-WAN 

Part 1:

**Applause**

**Paul Schaffer and the CBS orchestra play a rousing rendition of the Disco Star Wars mix. Band crescendos and finishes with a big climax! Drums, trumpets, etc.**

DAVID LETTERMAN: **finishes "air" banging some invisible drumsticks**

"Hey hey, we're back, folks. And tonight we have a very special treat for you. All the way from uh…. Uh… WHAT in the WORLD does that say?"

**Camera cuts to a man holding a cue card that says "All the way from Coruscant."**

"What the… Corkscrew… scan…tily clad women in Arkansas! Heck! Paul, can you- (trademark Dave laugh) hehehe! Can you say that?"

**Camera turns to Paul**

PAUL: "Uh, Dave. I believe it's Cor-oo-sant."

**Pause**

DAVE: "Uh… what?"

PAUL: "Coruscant (*Dave keeps going "huh"and "Coru..Coru.."*). Coruscant. Coruscant. At least, that's how Qui-Gon said it in the movie. Cor-oo-sant. It's the planet at the center of the galaxy, I think. It's supposed to be REAL important. Like, the capital of the Republic, or something."

DAVE: (*pause*) "Smart a-$$(*censored*Audience goes nuts*) Heeheehee (*trademark laugh*). Ok, ok. Now that I've uh… built up the SUSPENSE, here we go! He's a 25 year-old Jedi Knight, just recently graduated from Padawan status, he's the star of the blockbuster hit movie 'Star Wars Episode 1- The Phantom Menace', he's gorgeous, talented, we ALL love him…"

**Audience applause builds**

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce the ever-charming Obi-Wan Kenobiiiii!"

**Audience raves**

**Obi-Wan strides energetically onstage dressed all in black, donning some sharp-looking, shiny leather boots**

**Audience goes nuts at the site of him and the screams from fanatical women startle him a little**

**He gives that knee-buckler smile of his and walks over to the step leading to Dave's little couch set-scene thing**

**Dave stands, walks over and shakes Obi-Wan's hand** They both move over and sit down**

**Audience continues shrieking and Obi-Wan laughs humbly at his obvious popularity**

**Applause takes a few minutes to die down** 

OBI-WAN: "Whew! Ha Ha! How exciting (*is beaming*)!"

DAVE: "Yeah. Yeah. They're just a pack of ANIMALS! (*Audience cheers stupidly*) Anyway, it certainly is exciting to have you here tonight.

OBI-WAN: "Well thank you. I am happy to be here. (*Eyes twinkle merrily*)

DAVE: "It certainly must have been hard to make it all the way to New York City what with your busy schedule. Fighting Sith, n' slicing pathetic life forms and all that cool Jedi stuff. Huh?

OBI-WAN: "Oh, well. I've mostly been focusing on Anakin."

DAVE: "Oh, yeah. Anakin. Anakin. He's that little squirt you're training right?"

OBI-WAN: " Um. Yes."

DAVE: "Wow. THAT is… really interesting. You know. I could never, NEVER be a Jedi Knight. You know, if someone came up to me said 'Look you're real talented, so come and train with us, and you can beat up really big guys, and get all the chicks, but you have to dedicate your life to this thing called the Force that you can't see and you gotta wear these robes, and get this haircut… and. No offense. But, it's like the military. Except, you have to be SMART! Nah, I'd just say 'uh (*mock astronaut voice*)No sir, Get yerself another boy.' Hah!"

OBI-WAN: "Well, it takes commitment and faith. Anyway, YOU wouldn't ever have to worry about being asked to become a Jedi, Dave. (*Audience snickers*) Like you said, you have to be SMART to be a Jedi! Not to mention agile, skilled, strong, fast-"

DAVE: "Right. Right. SO, uh… How about that Amidala gal. Eh? Eh? (*nods knowingly to Obi-Wan, who looks confused*). You know… she's uh… She's pretty CUTE, don't ya think, pal?

OBI-WAN: "I suppose so-"

DAVE: "Oh, suppose, shmuppose. She's a hottie, ya know? I mean, and she's sweet and smart. I mean she's a QUEEN for crying out loud. What- are you blind?!"

**Audience is having a blast**

OBI-WAN: "No. She's a wonderful person. She really is-"

DAVE: "Well, then what's the problem Romeo? Got the jitters, huh?"

OBI-WAN: "(*laughs nervously*) No. It's just that I.. I-"

DAVE: "(*to audience*) Ooh, there ya see? Someone's got the jitters about a cute girl that he'd like to ask to the ice cream social!"

PAUL: "Hey, uh, Obi-Wan! Hey."

OBI-WAN: "(*turns*) Yes? Oh, hello Paul."

PAUL: "Hi. Now listen. You don't have to be nervous. You're a very attractive man with… very sexy traits…"

**DAVE takes a dramatic pause** Gives a look to the Audience, who is chuckling**

DAVE: "Uh…Yeah… Look, Obi-Wan, you're a frickin' JEDI! YA know? You can run real fast, and duel with your lightsaber, do mind tricks, leap tall buildings in a single bound, all that jazz. I'm sure she'll be impressed.

OBI-WAN: "Can we talk about something else now? I really don't-"

DAVE: "Oop. Hold that thought, Obi Kenobi! Hey that rhymes! Hah (*trademark laugh*)! We'll be right back after this!

**Applause**

**Dave aims, throws his pencil at the camera**

**"CRASH!!!"**

**Band plays**

---COMMERCIAL BREAK—

"Introducing a NEW comedy on the WB!"

"Drop the Chalupa."

"Tonight… yet ANOTHER person will NOT become a Millionaire."

--BACK TO SHOW—

**Applause, music, yadda, yadda**

DAVE: "Okay, we have the celebrity Jedi Knight here with us, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Or, as I like to call him, Obi! Heh heh. You don't mind if I call you Obi do ya? (*Obi-Wan opens his mouth to speak*) GOOD! Heh heh. You know what that reminds me of? Opie! You know, from the Andy Griffith Show! HAH! That's a riot!

OBI-WAN: "I've never seen or heard of a show by that name."

DAVE: "Oh, well you haven't LIVED, m'boy. Say, what do you like to do with your, er, 'leisure time?'

OBI-WAN: "Oh, listen to Iggy Pop, go to the arcades and play 'Dance Dance Revolution,' now THAT's challenging! Mmm, I also like to train. To spar and practice and whatnot. You know, keep myself in shape. (*grins*)"

**Females in audience whoop, and cry out cat-calls**

**Obi-Wan laughs in embarrassment**

DAVE: (*mock bitterness*)"Oh YEAH. Just treat him like a piece of MEAT, you… sex-crazed kids! Hey, have you ever thought that maybe that piece of meat had FEELINGS? Huh? Yeah, next time you bite into a slice of salami, why don't ask it its name first. Maybe take it out to dinner. Tell it it's special, you know?

(*gives up and shakes his head*) Sexist pigs (*Audience laughs stupidly*)…

SO, anyway! Anything interesting happen lately? Anyone special in your life?

OBI-WAN: "(*grins shyly*) Well, ACTUALLY… Um, Qui-Gon and I have been quite close lately (*Audience goes "whooooo" in a silly, childish way*).

DAVE: "Wait, what?… Isn't he dead?"

OBI-WAN: "Oh no; not at all! He's quite alive! At least, he was… last night (*smirks devilishly at audience*)

**Audience is hysterical**

DAVE: "Wait. No. He's dead."

OBI-WAN: "He is NOT dead. I assure you. I just saw him-"

DAVE: "Wai-Wai- Wait a minute now! I distinctly remember seeing him get stabbed with a saber and fall to the floor in a pathetic heap… Uh- uh, Back me up here, Paul."

PAUL: "Hmm, yeah. I saw it, too. He was pretty dead, Obi-Wan. I mean, he was lit on fire and EVERYTHING-"

OBI-WAN: "(*laughs*) It's ONLY a movie, guys! It's not REAL!"

**PAUL and DAVE look at each other, perplexed**

**Obi-Wan looks at the two as if they are insane** 

DAVE: "(*eyes Obi-Wan suspiciously*) Right…"

**DAVE glances towards the camera and his eyes light up**

"Oh, well lookee here! It's time to play America's fastest growing quiz sensation!"

**Audience cheers**

DAVE: (*looks at Obi-Wan in a chummy way*) "Do you know what THAT is, Obi-boy?"

OBI-WAN: "Of course, Dave. (*Looks at audience*) It's 'KNOW YOUR CURRENT EVENTS!'"

**Audience goes nuts again as Obi-Wan follows Dave into the audience**

Part 2:

DISCLAIMER in Part 1

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story dedicated to David Letterman, who returns to the show Monday Night (after Heart Surgery). Hurry up, Dave! "Late Show: Backstage" really sucks, and I HATE Don Rickles!

SUMMARY: Obi-Wan is the guest on "The Late Show with David Letterman." So far, Obi-Wan has been prodded about his relationship with Amidala, cat-called at like a piece of meat by the audience, and Dave tried to pronounce "Coruscant." Up next, "Know Your Current Events!"

The Late Show with Obi-Wan Part 2:

**Paul Schaffer and the CBS orchestra jams to a rousing rendition of "Know Your Current Events"**

PAUL and the gang: [sing] "Know-know-know-know-know your Current Events!"

**Audience applause**

**Obi-Wan jubilantly skips behind Dave, as they walk off the set and into the audience**

**Dave examines all the cheering fans sitting in the outer seats**

**Dave chooses a pretty young girl in a tourist T-shirt (any surprise?)* *

DAVE: "Hello! You there. Yes, you young lady!"

**Girl laughs shyly as she stands up, straightens her shirt and fixes her hair**

**She bursts into a fit of hysterical hiccups and giggles as Obi-Wan comes up behind Dave and smiles at her**

DAVE: "Hello, and what's your name?"

**Girl giggles idiotically**

GIRL: "Hee, heh. Amanda. And I wanna just say I am such a big fan of your show!"

DAVE: "Oh, really? Where ya from?"

AMANDA: "Little Rock, Arkansas. HI MOM!"

DAVE: "Yeah. Okay, Amanda. Before you can play. You have to tell me something.. What IS 'Know Your Current Events'?"

**Amanda frowns worriedly**

AMANDA: "What? UH… I don't know!"

DAVE: "Oh, I'm sorry Amanda. You have to pay attention! I say it almost every week! And I just said it a minute ago! I really am sorry, but you can't play."

**DAVE starts to walk up the steps looking around for another contestant**

AUDIENCE: "Awwww" (*in sympathy)

**AMANDA looks crushed**

**Obi-Wan stealthily tiptoes over to her and whispers in her ear**

AMANDA: "Know Your Current Events is America's fastest growing…"

**OBI-WAN leans in again and whispers harshly**

AMANDA: "…quiz sensation!"

**Audience cheers stupidly**

**DAVE turns around and reluctantly descends the steps back down to her**

DAVE: "Okay, okay. You can play. Only because you had this sudden… (*Shoots a dirty look at OBI-WAN*) epiphany."

**AMANDA squeals and claps her hands**

**OBI-WAN smiles at her pityingly**

DAVE: "Alright. (*Pulls out his handy flashcards- God forbid he should know anything of this stuff HIMSELF*) Here we go, Amanda. You have five categories to choose from, okay? Alright, we got:

Know your current events, know your Cambodian politicians, know your cuts of meat, know your Milly Vanilly Greatest Hits, or know your obscure Jell-O flavors. 

**AMANDA ponders this very gravely**

AMANDA: "Um, I choose Know your current events."

**DAVE stares at her for a few seconds**

**OBI-WAN turns in the other direction to stifle a laugh**

DAVE: "Okay, maybe you don't quite UNDERSTAND how to play this game."

AMANDA: "But, but I thought I had a choice-"

OBI-WAN: "Yeah, but nobody ever actually CHOOSES 'Know your current events!' You're no fun!"

DAVE: "Okay, look Amanda (*Audience is laughing*). Are you going to cooperate? Because if not, I'll show you to the door."

AMANDA: "Okay, sorry! Okay, uh… Cuts of meat! Cuts of meat!"

**She looks like she is about to have a heart attack**

**DAVE looks at OBI-WAN knowingly**

**They both laugh**

DAVE: "Don't take it too seriously! We're just kidding with you. Obi-wan's not going to bite your head off."

AMANDA: "No, really. I LOVE CUTS OF MEAT! NOW GIVE IT TO ME!"

**She giggles stupidly, trying to act like she knows what is going on (like any of us do at this point in the story)**

DAVE: (*shrugs*) "Okay. You chose 'Know your cuts of meat.' Look up there on that screen. We have a lovely photo of a cut of meat. Can you tell us what KIND of cut that is?"

**Audience laughs at the sight of a bloody piece of meat resting on a black background**

AMANDA: "Uh… pork chop?"

DAVE: "OH! I'm sorry! Not even close! Hah (*trademark laugh*)! It's sirloin!"

OBI-WAN: "Why did I HELP you?! How could you possible guess pork chop? That doesn't look anything LIKE pork chop!"

DAVE: "Now. Now, Obi-Wan. She STILL has one more chance! Okay, here's another picture. Now, can you tell me what cut of meat that is?"

AMANDA: (*smiles knowingly*) "THAT is a T-bone steak."

DAVE: "That's RIGHT!"

**Audience goes wild as if AMANDA is some sort of friggin' genius or something!"

DAVE: "Alan, tell her what she's won!"

ALAN: "Well, Dave. Amanda's won dinner for two at Alonzo's Shack of Fancy Dining!"

DAVE: "There. Wonderful. You've been very nice to allow us guys to act so stupidly."

**DAVE kisses her hand, and AMANDA sits back down happily**

**DAVE opens his mouth to speak**

ALAN: "Uh, Dave?"

DAVE: (*looks up at the announcer's booth*) "Uh, yeah, Alan. What is it?"

ALAN: (*camera cut to him*) "Could I ask you a favor?"

DAVE: "Um… Alan, I'm kind of in the middle of a SHOW here."

ALAN: "I know, I know, Dave. But, uh. You see, my daughter really LOVES Obi-Wan and she was wondering if. Well… if Obi-Wan could just sort of do a kind of TV telegram to her. She's a big fan and she'd appreciate it."

DAVE: (*looks over to a surprised Obi-Wan*) "Well, uh. What do ya say, Obi Boy?"

OBI-WAN: "Well, I don't see why not."

ALAN: "Wonderful! Just, ah. Just say hello, and uh, I guess share with her some inspiring words or something that girls like. Her name is Veronica."

**Camera moves in on OBI-WAN**

**He is still standing in the isles and he addresses the camera with a sexy "Come hither" look**

OBI-WAN: "Ver-on-ee-ka! (*Sexy voice*) Through the Force, I am connecting with you now. Oh, you are so beautiful. As a Jedi, I have met many alluring women, but none as enchanting as YOU. (*girls in the audience hoot and holler excitedly at his playful joke*) Come. Come to me, my darling and I'll show you my REAL LIGHTSABER!

**Girls in the audience cheer ecstatically**

**Shot of ALAN in utter shock**

DAVE: "Uh, I think Alan says thank you, Obi-Wan."

**OBI-WAN laughs… he was ONLY JOKING, for all you perverts out there!**

DAVE: "Anyway, it's time for a commercial break. When we come back, we have our musical guest and more of Obi-Wan Kenobi!"

OBI-WAN: "Who's the musical guest, Dave?"

DAVE: "None other than the legendary, decades-long celebrity, artist, musician, and singer, ##### #####!!!"

**Audience goes absolutely wild at the sound of the artist's name**

OBI-WAN: "Oh! Force, I LOVE ##### #####!!! How exciting! (*he drools noticeably*)"

DAVE: "Stay tuned, folks!"

------COMMERCIAL BREAK------

~TBC~

Want to know who the mystery artist is? Find out in the conclusion to this sappy story, in Part 3!!!

Part 3:

*Some boring (but necessary) AUTHOR'S NOTES and an additional DISCLAIMER at the bottom (after the story). Thanks for all the encouragement/feedback from you guys at OKEB! :-)

Late Night With Obi-Wan Part 3/3:
    
    -------COMMERCIAL BREAK--------

"Mom. Do you… douche?"

"Vote for Blah Blah for senator. So she's barely a resident of your state. She SAYS she likes your baseball team! Shouldn't that be ENOUGH?"

"Yo Yo. Here's a really bad thrown-together rap song that's supposed to make you want to eat our hamburgers. Peace y'all"

"Image is Nothing. Buy our Soda."

-------BACK TO OUR PROGRAM!!!---

**Paul Schaffer and the CBS orchestra play the "Imperial March."**

**Applause**

**DAVE and OBI-WAN are once again in their respectful seats**

**OBI-WAN has his legs crossed and is lounging lazily on the couch. DAVE is at his desk, tapping a pencil**

DAVE: "Okay we're back folks! With our wonderful guest here, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Quite the, uh… lady's man."

OBI-WAN: (*smiles as the cheers from the audience multiply at the sound of his name*) "I never knew I had so many fans. I honestly have never received so much applause in my life! (*Grins widely*) "

DAVE: "Oops. We're behind schedule. So, I'd like to introduce our very special, very famous, very legendary musical guest…!"

OBI-WAN: "Oh! I am sooo excited! I am such a big fan! (*He wriggles in his seat like a little boy who has to go "wee-wee"*)"

DAVE: "Ladies and gentleman, it is my pleasure to introduce to you, the ever-popular, extremely talented, extraordinary music artist, DAVID BOWIE!"

**Audience goes nuts and screams as the left side of the set lights up to reveal a stage**

**OBI-WAN can't help but clap his hands and smile like a star-struck idiot**

**The stage lights are misty blue. Layers of fog billow out from some unknown source**

**Nothing is visible behind the fog, but two electric guitars begin strumming enthusiastically followed by some drums**

**The audience shrieks itself into a frenzy as it recognizes the tune to be Bowie's extremely popular, upbeat song, "Suffragette City" (1972)**

**The lights suddenly change from, at first, a blinding white, to several shades of organic-looking blues and greens**

**And THERE'S Bowie in some weird bright green, Indian looking, long blouse, with orange fringes, and white rice-sack pants that barely reach the top of his ankles. He is wearing some sandal-slippers on his feet. He looks insane as usual.**

**As he begins singing, the audience goes ballistic, including OBI-WAN who has made his way to the edge of the stage**

**Toward the end of the song, the music stops abruptly**

DAVID BOWIE: "Awwwwwwwwwwww, Wham Bam, THANK YOU, MA'AM!"

**Audience explodes in a nostalgic, and wanna-be nostalgic frenzy**

**The music continues and the audience and OBI-WAN are screaming, and dancing fanatically**

DAVID BOWIE: "Suffragette city! Suffragette city! Suffragette city… SUFFRAGETTE!"

**End song** The audience is in a total uproar**

**DAVID LETTERMAN walks onstage and shakes DAVID BOWIE'S hand. DAVID BOWIE is about to say something to DAVID LETTERMAN, when OBI-WAN rushes the stage, and tackles DAVID BOWIE. Both fall into a heap on the floor.**

**DAVID BOWIE laughs maniacally**

DAVID LETTERMAN: "Uh, we'll be right back, folks."

--------COMERCIAL BREAK-------

"Find the lint brush of your DREAMS at Ejunk.com! Entrust your lint in the hands of PROFESSIONALS!"

"Critics call 'Snow Day' 'the most INTERESTING movie we've seen so far this year!'-WREX radio, Allipachee, Alaska"

"Tomorrow. Obi-Wan seems the perfect role model. But, THIS former West Hollywood prostitute's new tell-all book says he was her sugar daddy, and the father of her son! Is this an attempt at publicity? OR is our favorite Jedi, a fraudulent phony? Find out tomorrow on 'The National Exaggerator.'"

--------BACK TO OUR SHOW!-------

**Music, blah, blah, blah**

**DAVID BOWIE, OBI-WAN and DAVE are now seated back on the cozy set, respectfully**

**DAVID BOWIE is a little sweaty from his performance**

**OBI-WAN's face is slightly flushed, and he is giving the world a toothy grin**

DAVE LETTERMAN: "Well, we're back with David Bowie and Obi-Wan Kenobi. You know, Obi- hehehe (*trademark laugh*) That was a pretty CRAZY thing you did there!"

OBI-WAN: (*blushing* Looks to DAVID BOWIE*) "I am truly sorry, Mr. Bowie. I was just so excited to finally meet one of my FAVORITE rock stars! Someone I've listened to since… as long as I can remember!" (*His eyes twinkle dreamily*)

**DAVID BOWIE, who (if I haven't mentioned before) is totally INSANE, just smiles understandingly**

DAVID BOWIE: "Oh, well. Hehehe-"

DAVE LETTERMAN: "Hey, that laugh's TRADEMARKED!"

BOWIE: "Oh, sorry, Dave. Anyway, Obi-Wan, I understand perfectly. I am sure it was just the alignment of the stars and the mixture of my spiritual essence and yours that caused you to charge me. I am sure that Mother Destiny foresaw this, and saw that this was good. Besides, if I DIDN'T forgive you, the little elves that live inside my brain would SURELY punish me! (*Smiles kindly*)"

**Pause**

OBI-WAN: "Uh…"

DAVE LETTERMAN: "Right…"

BOWIE: "Those BASTARDS! Anyway, haha! How are you gentlemen doing? Not eating any endangered species, I hope?"

DAVE LETTERMAN: "Um, David. You are just totally PSYCHO. You DO know that, don't you?"

BOWIE: "Hahaha!"

**Pause**

DAVID LETTERMAN: "Right…"

OBI-WAN: "Anyway, Mr. Bowie… or SHOULD I say… Teeheehee (*~NOT TRADEMARKED…yet*) Should I call you…Ziggy!? Teeheehee (*laughs like he is so friggin' witty*)."

**A wild glint sparks in DAVID BOWIE'S eyes**

**He turns to OBI-WAN with a threateningly crazy look**

BOWIE: "Don't you DARE ever mention that… a$$hole's name in my presence!"

OBI-WAN: "(*Very nervous*) But, 'Ziggy' is merely the name of the persona you took on for several years during your glam rock years, in which you claimed to be an alien from outer space come to Earth to become a rock star!"

BOWIE: "All lies! That BASTARD wasted YEARS of my life! He was crazy! I don't like to talk about him, and don't you ever relate me to that fellow!"

OBI-WAN: "But, he was YOU-"

**Another killer-look from BOWIE stops OBI-WAN mid-sentence**

DAVE LETTERMAN: "WELL! Looks like we're out of time! Stay tuned for Craig Kilborn coming up next! (*As if anyone is awake by NOW*)

**BOWIE is still staring at OBI-WAN menacingly, who, despite his Jedi Abilities, looks pretty powerless in the face of this really weird situation**

**The Audience applauds stupidly like everything is hunky dory**

**Paul Schaffer and the CBS orchestra play the "Psycho' theme**

**CREDITS**

"David Letterman's wardrobe provided by Ralph Loren"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi's wardrobe provided courtesy of the ARMY SURPLUS store"

"David Bowie's wardrobe provided courtesy of The Rice Company of Vietnam, and Billy Bob's Discount Thrift Store"

"PRODUCED BY WORLDWIDE PANTS"

~THE END~ to my first reckless fanfiction creation (finally! There, that wasn't SO bad was it? DON'T ANSWER THAT!)

AUTHOR'S NOTES and DISCLAIMER: Just a historical note. Ziggy Stardust is a fictional character David Bowie took on during some of his marginal rise to fame during the Glam Rock years (He later 'ditched' Ziggy and became David again a few years later). I have his very UNFAMOUS first album, and after hearing it, assuming the identity of an alien from Mars for publicity didn't really sound like such a bad idea when I saw his old look and song styles! Bowie is, of course, still with us today, still making oodles of $ and with a new album "Hours" and a movie in the making. Although Bowie is quite kooky, his (in)sanity was exaggerated in this story for fun's sake. I LOVE Bowie and his music and I meant no harm by my representation of him in this fanfic :-)

More reference, "Suffragette City" comes from Bowie's album "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars" (1972). If you'd like to hear a little clip from the song "Wham Bam, thank you, Ma'am…" you can find it in my Yahoo Briefcase under Sound Files at http://briefcase.yahoo.com/zincoxidegirl

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/ym/Compose?<br>To=cheshire_cat78@yahoo.com&YY=97549&order=up&sort=date&pos=0



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